September 10, 2018
It is the year 4519. I am writing from the future to inform you that a group of intergalactic scholars who are engaged in groundbreaking research about Evil still refuse to fight Evil.
The experts, who live up in the clouds, are too afraid to use their magic powers to confront Evil, a low- budget version of Darth Vader.
Meanwhile, scholars engage in endless talks. Again, these scholars are a disappointment to many of us because they refuse to use their magic powers to aid powerless human beings. This is, my dear earthlings, the state of academia these days.
So…the powerless are beginning to write them off. At a Council Meeting of the Powerless, everyone voted to no longer provide oral histories and ancient wisdom to the group of said intergalactic scholars.
UPDATE: Intergalactic scholars are recruiting robots to jot down ideas, repeat thoughts and follow commands. Apparently, they’re ready to discard humans. As always.