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Martians Still Trying to Figure out The Deplorables

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By Mueller
December 17, 2018

It is December 2018 and believe or not, planet Earth is still talking about the 2016 elections that brought Donald Trump to power. Even Martians are talking about it.

The Martian Academy of Science is currently conducting research on the latest human trends. One of the most difficult trends to understand is the rise of Trumpism. To that end, Martians are still trying to figure out Trump voters and supporters known as The Deplorables.

“They have no heart, are really they human”? Asked some of the most renowned scientists of planet Mars during a conference last week. “How can The Deplorables be considered human when they show no respect for humanity and their own planet.”(Deplorables love coal even if it is harmful to the air and human life.)

A report published in The Martian Times indicates that The Deplorables have no ideology. “Unable to think for themselves, they act like sheep.” According to the report, what bring The Deplorables together “are nastiness and an utter disdain for decency and common sense”. Deplorables also believe in the patriarchy and wish Earth was set back 5000 years.

Martian social scientists noted that The Deplorables share “racialist views”, the ultimate sign of human degradation and decay. These researchers from outer space have found that there are hierarchies within The Deplorables. For example, the collage-educated Deplorables benefit more from Trumpism as it safeguards their economic and social power that white privilege allows them to have. While at the same time, rural and poor Deplorables keep voting for Trump and get little or nothing in return.

Source : Wikipedia

Source: Wikipedia

The Martians researchers note the urban-rural divide among Deplorables. Those from the rural countryside like to wear red hats emblazoned with the words MAGA while urban Deplorables from the North and the Midwest wear Death in June t-shirts and hipster paraphernalia.

“It is a puzzle”, said one Martian intellectual who wishes to remain anonymous. “Why”, asks the Martian intellectual, “do poor Deplorables keep supporting Trump when it does not benefit their standard of living? It is like voting against your own interests”, The Martian thinker added.

Another report on The Deplorables looks at the other Deplorables or Deplorables on the DL. Deplorables on the DL bomb innocent civilians (See Serbian bombing by Bill Clinton); and set up of charity organizations (See the Clinton Foundation headed by Bill and Hillary Clinton) that raise funds for earthquake-ravaged countries but the aid is nowhere to be found.

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